My Excuses

So, what are our excuses? Let's list some of mine:

• I'm SO tired.
• I just worked 13 billable hours and I just want to come home and be with my family and sleep.
• It's raining outside (This truly was one - embarrassed about this one).
• But, this tastes so good, why waste good food?
• I'll just eat what I've got in the house and then I won't buy it anymore. (I can't bring myself to throw food away unless it's really, really bad.)
• I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY TIME.

I was reading some blog about some woman who was fat-shaming moms (I've never heard of her) with some campaign showing her with her three kids and having six packs on her abs and whatever. It doesn't make me mad because if fitness is her priority, more power to her. I think that's really what it is: priorities. Some of us have different priorities than others. You also have to figure in genetics, of course, and what kind of schedule we all have, etc. But, what it really boils down to is this: If you WANT to exercise and eat healthy, you will. It's really as simple as that. 

     

My most recent excuse was that it was busy season (tax season and I am a tax accountant) and I was working too many hours, getting used to a new schedule, missing time with my family, the firm was providing meals, so constant eating out...all the stuff that led me to rationalize that when busy season was over, I would start exercising again because I would have more time. But, will I? Was that just another excuse in a long line of excuses and when busy season ends (which was yesterday, by the way) will I come up with another one? I'd like to think not. There have been times in my life where I was able to lose weight and be fit and feel really great about myself. What was the difference then? What did my mind do then that it can't seem to do now? That's what I've been trying to figure out.

I am on the right with my inspirational friend, Becky

Back in 2010, I trained for a half-marathon. It's kind of a long story that I'll save for another blog, but I ended up losing about 40 pounds through the whole process. I had started at a much smaller weight than I am now, but at the end, I was 183 pounds and about a size 12. More importantly, I could see muscle definition in my legs and I didn't feel bloated or tired all the time. Ironically, even though I was pushing my body every day to exhaustion, I hadn't felt as alive in my life as I did during that time. I was sleeping better at night, I would wake up feeling refreshed. I ran through rain, snow, whatever weather came. I would run on an indoor track if it was too horrible outside. I lifted weights on the off days and I swam and rode my bike places. I was on fire!

But, then when the half came and went, I decided I would "take a break." Biggest mistake of my life. As soon as I stopped, it started getting harder and harder to get motivated to do things. I think that one of the biggest pitfalls for women (or men, or anyone trying to get healthy) is calling something a "diet" or making it a goal to reach a certain weight for a certain event. What happens after that? Do we let ourselves go back to the way we were? Do we find a new thing to shoot for? Why isn't it enough to say "I deserve this, so I'm just going to do this because I want to be my own inspiration for the rest of my life." 

I feel like bodies are an incredible gift from God. We have been given something and we need to take care of it. I want my kids to be well-taken-care-of. I would kill someone if they abused my kids! Why in the world is it okay for me to abuse myself? It's not, and I highly doubt that Heavenly Father likes the way I speak to myself on a regular. I think that is the thing that needs to change first--my mental image of myself. Do I accept myself the way I am? Do I try to change? Can I do both? I suppose the answer is different for each individual. For me, I like the person I have become. I feel successful in most areas of my life, but I know that I would feel even better if I was healthy too. It would be nice to be able to climb the three flights of stairs from my parking garage to the lobby of my building and not feel like my lungs are going to burst. It would be nice to get a good night's sleep again. It would be nice to look in the mirror and feel like I can conquer anything. I already know that I can get my Bachelor's degree and my Master's degree (with a good GPA to boot) while being an officer in a school organization, raising four kids, and being a counselor in a church youth organization. I can work 60 hours week at a large firm, and still find time for the counselor position and my family. Why can't I toss some exercise in there too?

I can! For the past two mornings, I have woken up early and gone for a walk with my 11-year-old daughter. We have talked about life and what she is dealing with. It's quiet in the mornings and it gives us some rare time together, just the two of us. It has been so nice. I'm killing two birds here: exercising and getting QT with my kiddo. Life is good. Now, let's make it better.